A Father's Love
He hears the murmur in the middle of the night,
The mother of his child pleads for another peculiar craving.
A father resourcefully attends to her wishes.
He is the caretaker honouring his role,
Supporting his partner with appreciated efforts.
Standing by her side at every check-up appointment,
Facilitating the course of the pregnancy as best as he can.
His soul entwined with theirs throughout the journey of parenthood.
Although an outsider,
His breath also flows through their lungs,
His blood beats within their heart,
His nourishment sustains their vitality,
His voice serenades their soul.
However, a perpetual fear resounds in him.
Will he be able to do enough for his growing family?
He has no guidance towards the flourishing path of fatherhood.
So he devises his own blueprint, a manual to set his course ahead.
Though he cannot carry the labour for her,
The father dons his armour and battles it out in the world,
Day and night he rallies himself,
For he has sworn a duty to provide and protect.
The appointed hour arises
A newborn takes their first breath,
He is clutching them in their arms,
A tender touch softens his steel gaze,
He removes his armour in their presence,
Letting down his guard behind closed doors.
Offering everything and anything he can for them,
From this day onward.
From infancy to childhood and the perilous trials of adolescence,
He’ll always be there,
For his child is his flesh and blood.
The father painted the portrait of a superhero in their eyes.
A heroic guardian, enacting stoic measures to thrive and succeed out there.
Yet the urge to provide overrides his senses,
At times he is overextending his reach for success.
Employment and a steady income must come first.
How else will they survive?
He reluctantly departs from glimpses of their childhood.
Nostalgia runs rampant in his thoughts.
He pines for the present moment,
To watch his child grow up every step of the way
Yet, he is bound to his desk, working from afar.
The balance is never delicately struck.
Torn between two worlds,
He followed the script of manhood for so long,
Now the father doesn’t know how to return to his tender roots like before.
Every moment away, he yearns for the present moment at home.
Yet time waits for no one.
When the father arrives to his family hearth,
He wonders if the moment of reconciliation has long passed.
His child has already grown up so fast,
No longer a fragile thing to be held.
His kid is not awaiting his cuddle anymore,
He relinquishes his former tokens of physical affection.
He is left with scarcity at the front door,
No longer able to peer into his child’s personal life without evoking suspicion.
He wants to reclaim the connection,
In the same vein their mother dotes on them,
They let her in, why not him?
Despite his efforts, the heroic armour entraps his emotions,
An invisible barrier formed between him and his growing child.
One that is unwarranted, yet it remains all the same.
The vulnerability of parenthood is never seen.
He finds himself shifting into the role of a herald,
Imparting bite-sized content of wisdom to his teenager,
At every chance he gets,
They nod in turn while he tries to prepare them for the world beyond,
Ending the conversation with a “Do You Understand?” to seal the pearl in their mind.
The father embraces every opportunity to show up.
Although the frustration and fatigue may burden him with each passing day,
He rallies himself with unwavering devotion.
Since he is a father and they are his kin.
He has to rediscover his family every passing day, week and month,
Constantly aware of being an interloper in his own home.
Yearning to feel included and seen.
He reprimands himself for the neglect,
The self-pity awakens with every swift dismissal from his child,
Whenever their faces are buried in their phone.
Seething resentment brews,
As his limited interactions may not have the impact he desires,
Demands of work slowly encroach upon him.
He’s compelled to suffer in silence.
A heavy heart ripened with loneliness.
Never reaching out for help, never showing weakness.
These are his unspoken signs of love.
But then an echo of compassion catches him unaware,
A kiss on the cheek and a hug in their arms is enough to nourish his soul.
Years pass swiftly by, and their child is now an adult,
Still, he offers affection in the form of many endless guises:
Being intensely present and available whenever they need him.
Soon, they’re leaving the nest to fend for themselves one day at a time.
Yet he does not yield from his responsibilities.
Parenthood lasts forever.
He wants to recalibrate,
To find a new system of fatherhood.
One where he isn’t reduced to a chauffeur and a bank teller,
Whenever they venture home.
He grants himself enough time to now feel it all.
Every moment of their childhood archived,
Listening and enjoying those moments replaying in his mind,
Where he once thought they took him for granted,
He now witnesses boundless love and appreciation.
The father reminds them of his undying love,
Although he expresses it differently at times.
Some days it is a gentle hug,
On other days he musters the courage to say an “I love you”,
Always uncertain whether he’d hear it back.
The sentiment is always returned tenfold.
Forever worried about their health and safety,
Whether they’ll succeed in life as they wander alone.
But eagerly anticipating his child’s return.
As he awaits by the phone,
Hoping to hear their voice,
He scours for a sign of their presence.
Any faint reminder in their empty nest.
Gazing at the vacant seat nestled at the dining table,
Imploring his wish for them to return soon.
His ears are listening out for the doorbell.
When the day finally comes,
As the adult they’ve now become greet him at the door,
He embraces them like no other can.
Since he is a father and they are his kin.
A father’s love is undying and boundless,
Beating vicariously in their child’s chest wherever they may roam.
Posted on Father’s Day 2022 as an ode to fatherhood.